You had me at meat tornado.– Ron Swanson
It ain’t safe in the city - watch the throne.– ‘Yesus
Guys, I don’t know if I made it clear, but I don’t want any...– Leslie Knope
Dra: what if all the states that allowed gay marriage seceded and it was the united gay states of america
Dra: i kind of want that to happen! i think that would be fun.
me: This idea is brilliant and I fully support it
You know the reason I can’t hurt/I got a heart of stone.– The Raveonettes
I met another Jake tonight and was immediately like “you’re not as...– Jermainia, in a text this morning that was basically the best way to start a day ever.
Of course I didn’t just eat a pizza alone. Of course I didn’t watch nine episodes of Parks and Rec today. Of course I am the coolest dude ever and not at all lame. PEOPLE WANT TO DO BE ME.
I am SUCH a catch
I have left my room exactly three times today - twice to pee and once to steal a grape soda from my roommate. I am officially pathetic.
the tweet content + the background image.
blatheringoctopus: Dickie V + Coach K = my OTP I love it when my best friend brings up Krzyzewski being the shit. Makes me happy, y’all.
Dra: i read the bible like it's toilet paper
Dra: scratch that. i poop far too often to disrespect toilet paper in such a harsh manner.
Me: Amen, sister