Cheat To Win

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I’ve been seeing this guy for about six weeks now.  In that time, I 

• Was his moral support while we watched Sinister
• Convinced him that Bob’s Burgers is better than American Dad to watch/love Bob’s Burgers
• Introduced him to my Clueless drinking game
• Had chicken soup, buffalo wings, and bottled water delivered to his house when he was sick
• Donated cash money to his Santa Speedo Run page
• Engineered a natural disaster on his birthday so his flight in TX would be cancelled and he could enjoy some more time off
• Bought him Cabin in the Woods as his actual present

I think we can all agree he needs to put a ring on it.