Cheat To Win

Flaw. Less.

Best possible way to report the “Beyoncé performing at the Super Bowl” rumor:

In what will hopefully become tradition for all future Super Bowls, the Associated Press is reporting that Beyoncé has signed on to perform at the half-time show of Super Bowl XLVII in February.

She will kill it. She will not give anyone the middle finger. She will whip the crowd into such a frenzied state of collective effervescence that the players will vote to toss out the scores because “we’re just playing for fun here.”

An unexpected side-effect of the AP story is that it underscores just how little there is to say about Beyoncé aside from “DIVA,” “KILLIN’ IT,” “BOW DOWN TO THE QUEEN,” and other things in capital letters.

That said, this magazine has gone to complete shit under current editor-in-chief Jess Cagle. Media types are so focused on Tina Brown ruining magazines that they barely notice when someone else ruins them, and under Cagle’s watch the magazine has become little more than a glorified press release for whatever dogshit Hollywood is serving up to you this week.

Drew Magary is a prick but this rant is spot on and describes the exact reason I told them to cancel my subscription. Jess Cagle ran EW into the ground. He’s the Andy Cohen of magazines.

I didn’t think I could love Lena Dunham more.  Then she did this:

Writer, director, producer, and star of HBO’s much-dissected comedy series Girls Lena Dunham recently issued a formal rebuttal to critics who pick on the show for featuring a main cast composed entirely of celebrity offspring.

“The whole nepotism storyline, I get it more with [Brian Williams’ daughter] Allison and [David Mamet’s daughter] Zosia who have dads who are kind of active in the entertainment industry,” Dunham conceded to Bill Simmons (no relation) during a recent B.S. Report interview.

But I really did want to challenge all the people crying nepotism to actually tell me who either of my parents were, because it’s the contemporary art world! Okay, I’m Laurie Simmons’ daughter. In one sentence, give me the concentrated version of her Wikipedia entry. You cannot! She’s had a lovely career, but she’s a feminist photographer from downtown New York.

What if black Americans woke up this weekend and didn’t go to church or Sunday school? What if they instead took that time to enrich themselves in other ways, like talking to their families about their worries and insecurities, or reading books? What if the thousands of black Americans who follow Creflo Dollar, a multimillionaire megachurch pastor in command of mansions and a Rolls Royce, stopped donating their money and time to him, and instead used those resources to improve their own lives? What if they, as Tyson has done, became scientists out to explore their world in new ways? Would they get happier? Would the ones who hate gays finally be able to get over their fears? Would some of them sit at the kitchen table with their mothers and sob because the world seems so confusing and hurtful all the time? I don’t know the answers to any of these questions, and perhaps they’re the wrong questions to ask. But I do know that improving the black community via the church is an idea that seems to have run its course, and I’d like to move forward.

Look, I know Cord.  I went to school with him.  He’s not a horrible human being, but he’s pretty smug, and he frequently came across as condescending in conversation.  I want to back him here, because I agree with him, but when it comes to something as personal and as thorny as religion, maybe he could have dialed down the patronizing tone.

Especially when it comes to that story about his grandmother.  Woof.

Shock of shocks: Brian Moylan is still a useless piece of shit who publishes articles that he CLAIMS apply to every homosexual under the sun and really just apply to him. Go fuck yourself, Gawker. Your lack of integrity is simultaneously staggering and boring.

William and Mary - educating embarrassingly nerdy students since 1693.

Gawker Media on Monday named new editors for two of its most prominent sites, the flagship Gawker and the sports and men’s lifestyle site Deadspin.

Remy Stern, the editor of Gawker for nearly two years, will be replaced by A. J. Daulerio, who has edited Deadspin for the last three and a half years. Mr. Daulerio, in turn, will be replaced by the senior editor of Deadspin, Tommy Craggs. The moves will take effect on Jan. 1.

Look, I love AJ Daulerio and everything, but I’m fairly certain there is nothing he can do that will make me want to read Gawker again.  Unless he fires Brian Moylan and Zack Rosen and stops publishing such inflammatory, offensive, unfounded “articles.”

I know. Fat chance.  It is Gawker Media after all.

Source: NY Times

Steve Jobs created many beautiful objects. He made digital devices more elegant and easier to use. He made a lot of money for Apple Inc. after people wrote it off for dead. He will undoubtedly serve as a role model for generations of entrepreneurs and business leaders. Whether that’s a good thing or a bad thing depends on how honestly his life is appraised.

Yet again, I struggle with posting a Gawker article, but this brings up everything I’ve wanted to say since the hero worship started on Wednesday night.  Steve Jobs wasn’t God - he wasn’t even close.

I’ve never owned an Apple product. Yet here I am, talking on phones, typing on computers, and reading the internet every day. If you like Apple products, fine. They are products. They do not have souls. They are not heroes, and neither is their creator, no matter how skilled he may have been. Let’s mourn Steve Jobs as we mourn the passing of any other good man—modestly, privately, and quietly. Those of you whose remembrances have already taken on a quasi-religious tone: seek help.

I can’t believe I’m even referencing a Gawker article, but this is just perfectly structured.  Thank you for stealing the thoughts straight from my brain, Hamilton Nolan. 

Between heroically saving Richard Branson’s mother from a fire, acting humble about it later, and speaking out in favor of naturalaging, Kate Winslet has been wowing us a lot recently. It’s unclear if she’s just naturally awesome, or is already atoning for starring in that new Roman Polanski film, but we have another charming tale to add to the list. She tells V magazine:

“I like being in the city. I like the diversity that my children are exposed to every day. I love the way their brains work. Joe turns to me the other day and says ‘One day I will have a girlfriend or a boyfriend, darling. Which would you prefer?’ And I said ‘My Love, that would be entirely up to you, and it doesn’t make any difference to me.’ But that he knows! It’s a real privilege. Talk about the best education.”

I think we can all agree that Kate Winslet is awesome.  I think we can also agree that Jezebel/Gawker Media regularly prints misleading headlines and neglects downright ignores journalistic integrity.

Awww.  Grammar is really difficult, isn’t it, Gawker?  Yet another reason Brian Moylan should be fired.

Also - what’s a gay “vibe,” Brian?