These should be on a new episode of Portlandia.
Remember when Nashville said they weren’t hipsters and it was so insulting to call them that?
Pretty sure the sign above, taken at the Belcourt Theatre in Hillsboro Village, disproves that pile of bullshit.
”Yeah, but we have a black president! Isn’t racism over?”
Okay. That’s probably the most racist thing you’ve said all day, imaginary amalgam of all the careless hipsters in the world. You know how you can tell that black people are still oppressed? Because black people are still oppressed. If you claim that you are not a racist person (or, at least, that you’re committed to working your ass off not to be one—which is really the best that any of us can promise), then you must believe that people are fundamentally born equal. So if that’s true, then in a vacuum, factors like skin color should have no effect on anyone’s success. Right? And therefore, if you really believe that all people are created equal, then when you see that drastic racial inequalities exist in the real world, the only thing that you could possibly conclude is that some external force is holding certain people back. Like…racism. Right? So congratulations! You believe in racism! Unless you don’t actually think that people are born equal. And if you don’t believe that people are born equal, then you’re a fucking racist.
Holy shit, Jezebel just slam dunked this post on “hipster racism” and how white people are oblivious to the subtleties of racism in our culture. Well done, Lindy West.
Liz Lemon, channeling Ina Garten, while also sounding vaguely hipster.
YOU LOOK AT ME LIKE YOU’VE NEVER SEEN A NEO-HIPSTER BEFORE.
Hey guys, long time no see, toss me a PBR—actually, better make it a Coors Light. I know, I look different, but before you all start saying how I look like some midtown suit, let me explain. I haven’t gone pleb on you, I’m actually a neo-hipster now. It’s basically where you’re a hipster, but since hipsterism has gone so mainstream you dress and act like a regular person, ironically.
It’s like this. In the morning when I wake up, I’ll put on a pair of skinny jeans and a Sonics t-shirt—but then when it’s time to go out, I’ll ironically slap on a pair of runners, some blue jeans, and a no-name golf shirt I ironically bought at Target. And those thick-rimmed glasses I used to wear? I still wear them in my house, but I got them changed to a zero prescription since I recently ironically got laser eye surgery.
It only gets better from there…
I gotta testify, come up in the spot lookin' extra fly...
