So we would like to use this opportunity to offer some unsolicited advice to childhood hero and pop legend Britney Spears, which is: Go back to the mean place. Live in the mean place. Picture Christina Aguilera’s head on the body of every single contestant you encounter, and then tell her what you thought ofBionic. Interrupt Demi Lovato mid-show and ask her why she’s never had a hit song. Just get in there and real talk, friend; it suits you.
I agree with Vulture on this one - I love ya, Britney, but you’re better mean. Go for the juggular.
The early reports from the set of Simon Cowell’s new and improved X Factor — starring LA Reid, Disney-and-rehab alum Demi Lovato, and one Britney Spears — were troubling: Britney wasn’t talking much. Maybe she looked a little glassy-eyed. There were reports that she kept storming off set whenever a contestant botched one of her songs. To be fair, she’s curbed that last habit a bit, and also, it seems like all the X Factor judges get to bolt whenever they need to take a phone call or update an eBay bid. Still, the Britney faithful were worried — would she spend the whole season in Roboto mode? Would her team feed her lines and keep her from doing anything remotely interesting? Based on the first footage of Britney at the judges’ table (in this very brief X Factorcommercial, below), the answer is: Yes to the canned lines but maybe, possibly, no to the rest? Britney is saying mean things! To real human people! On national television! And watch her delivery on that first putdown — “You can’t destroy that song, sweetie” — with the eager hand raise and the bitchy tone. It’s almost like she’s enjoying this. We believe.
I am literally going to watch this just because I love Britney when she’s a cunt.
12/8. Never forget. Click for the recap, if you dare.
I don’t watch this show, but I read the recap and watched the clip because I’m in love with Dave Holmes.
It is excruciating to watch.
Melanie Amaro
This year’s … Jordin Sparks
Assessment: She’s probably going to win this thing; she’s probably going to have one huge single and then change styles several times trying to recapture her popularity; she’s probably going to sing a stirring rendition of the national anthem at the NBA Finals that will bring our country together after the class war of 2013; she’ll probably then become the spokesperson for acid reflux or nighttime jogging safety or she’ll try her hand at acting or have a talk show that lasts for one season before settling into her Vegas revue. That’s our Melanie. That’s our X Factor. That’s AMERICA.
I love Dave Holmes. And as the only person to bet on Jordin Sparks in that season’s office pool, I totally agree.
Source: NY Mag
OK, maybe I’m being an asshole, but I just don’t really understand why people thought she was so incredible. She failed to hit most of the notes in the song, and basically just coasted through it. She wasn’t bad, per se, but she certainly wasn’t sensational.
That said,
1. Heyyyy Kelly. You’re lookin’ good, love.
2. Gary Barlow is dead sexy right there. Like, husband material. Unf.
I gotta testify, come up in the spot lookin' extra fly...
